


What I’d Give To Be A Raindrop

by choking_on_gold



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Gen, I am in love with aesthetic imagery, I guess..., It’s heavily inspired by Taxi Cab by Twenty One Pilots so..., N E WAYS, No beta we die like illiterates, Song fic, Spencer Reid-centric, but like there’s barely any Derek ://, i get some ~longing~ vibes from a certain twink..., im bad at tagging but that’s not news, platonic moreid, so here is some personified rain for ya, we got a little bit of angst in this one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:41:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27954800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/choking_on_gold/pseuds/choking_on_gold
Summary: 𝑇𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑖𝑛 𝑎 𝑡𝑜𝑥𝑖𝑐 𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑝 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑟𝑎𝑖𝑛...
Relationships: Platonic Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid
Kudos: 4





	What I’d Give To Be A Raindrop

**Author's Note:**

> I know I said this in the tags already, but in case you missed it: this one is **heavily** inspired by the song **_Taxi Cab_** by **_Twenty One Pilots_** , so I definitely recommend listening to it while reading! :)

3:38 a.m. Thursday dawn. The rain hit the windshields, running from terrorizing skies that threatened to turn them into nothingness. And there were so many of them. Thuds loudly pressed against the glass as the raindrops fell from above. Spencer woke up just in time. Right before they got to him. They were dark, almost pitch black, and so was the sky. _How come the rain in my nightmares is never soothing?_

He got out of bed as soon as his legs were stable enough to walk, even though they were still shaking beneath him, almost bone-shattering. Almost. He made his way to his bathroom, and ran his hands through his face with some warm water to calm himself down. _How come the raindrops in my nightmares are always so far apart?_

He sat down on the couch, staring at a black screen, trying to tire himself out once more, however finding it highly unsuccessful. He brought his knees up chest, and laid his forehead down, setting it between both of them. He felt a tear slide down his face, aimlessly being dragged away by the force of gravity, and not being able to do anything about it. He sniffled to himself, as he let it happen to countless others. _What if the raindrops in my nightmares are lonely, with nothing but each other to blame?_

He loved the sound of rain. It meant the world to him. Even when he didn’t have anything, he had the rain. It was a happy memory, something to hold on to. To gaze in its beauty, without threat. To feel it’s comfort fill him in the darkest of times, and take care of him when he couldn’t take care of himself. _How come the rain in my nightmares doesn’t feel like home?_

4:17 a.m. Thursday dawn. He got up from the sofa once his body had calmed down enough where he no longer was shaking frantically and went back to his room. He changed out of his pajamas, and put an oversized old t-shirt and some sweatpants on instead. He grabbed a sweater he bought at a fair 3 years, 4 months and 28 days ago, and made his way out the door. He walked and walked, and the rain poured harder and harder on top of him. He loved it, because even if the harsh crash on his skin hurt, it was real. It was real and it was beautiful. _Why doesn’t the rain in my nightmares strip me of harm and pity?_

He knocked on a door that didn’t seem familiar until it opened. He was met with a confused and sleepy gaze. Of course, there were no complaints. It happened way too often. They didn’t speak a word as Spencer entered Derek’s house. He took off his sweatshirt, and left it drying on Derek’s coat hanger. They made their way to Derek’s bedroom, the older man, even though half asleep, didn’t miss the way Spencer stared out every window they passed, admiring the rain without realizing it. _Oh if only the rain in my nightmares was this peaceful..._

Spencer pushed the covers aside before getting in and laying vertically at the center of the bed. He turned his head sideways as his body laid perfectly still, as if death had come too early for the poor boy. Derek laid on top of him, every part of their bodies aligning perfectly from shoulders to hips to knees. Derek lay his forehead on top of Spencer’s, bringing his arms around him, and slightly placing soft kisses all over the younger one’s face. _I wish the rain in my nightmares could see me now. Do you see me, rain? Look at me! Look at how happy I am without you!_

He couldn’t bring himself to look away from the window. He stared outside, hearing the thunder crash in the distance. He felt the arms around him, and the lips that were being pressed to his face- more specifically his forehead at the moment. He felt it but he didn’t. He was here, but his mind was miles away, chasing an unwanted feeling. He ran after the rain, called out to it, but he never quite reached it. _Look at me, rain! I could never be happy without you!_

He cried and he screamed and he ran, oh how he ran, but the rain was faster. And as he followed the pouring water, trapped away in his mind, out there- in the real world- he laid still. Body stiff as a rock, and a single strand of tear streamed down his face. _Why don’t you love me, rain?_

6:27 a.m. Thursday morning. He closed his eyes, tiredness overtaking him. The dead weight of his best friend keeping him grounded enough to not be lost completely in his mind, to a point of no return. And like everything else in his life, the rain outran him. He never caught it. He barely even touched it. It left him once more. But it’s alright. _Tomorrow you’ll come back to me, won’t you rain? Even in my worst nightmares. You always come back..._

**Author's Note:**

> Kiddos, bookmarks and comments are appreciated 🥺 Questions, concerns, and feed back is 100% welcome!!! :))


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